Go, Team!
Have you ever been part of a team that started out strong but lost its shine? This is happening more often as people get burnt out by the unremitting pace of work and the expectation that we all do more with less. And if just a few people lose motivation, team spirit suffers.
But practicing inclusive behaviors has the potential to reverse this kind of disengagement. Both because it makes our co-workers feel more valued and more a-part-of, and because it’s one of the quickest ways we can motivate ourselves. In fact, research shows that the primary reason people help others is that it makes them feel good about themselves. Given this, why would we not seize the opportunity to act inclusively towards our teammates?
A great example of how this works was the subject of a recent piece in The Athletic, the New York Times’ vastly upgraded sports section. It focused on Joey Votto, a 6-time All Star first baseman who played 17 seasons with the Cincinnati Reds.
Votto, who retired in 2023, was known for his head-down, I’m-just here-to-work approach and his intense dedication to becoming a better player. He practiced drills with a relentlessness that kept teammates at arm’s length, and he viewed the locker room, where relationships are formed and players hang out, as simply a place to change his clothes after drills.
Votto was an introvert, but that’s only part of the reason he steered clear of fellow players. He was also so single-minded in his quest to be a high performer that relationships seemed superfluous. He didn’t want to get distracted, and his teammates, sensing that, kept their distance. He became a great player, but stayed in his shell.
As Rustin Dodd, the Athletic writer notes, Votto began to change after reading Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dodd does not say when this happened). Carnegie emphasizes the value of intentionally appreciating others by listening to what they say, calling them out publicly for their contributions, offering support when they appear to need it, and exhibiting a sense of humor about your own mistakes. All in the service of building more satisfying and effective relationships.
As Votto began practicing a few of these behaviors, he began to change. He remained a powerhouse on the ball field, but grew more relaxed in the locker room. He started bringing his teammates into his world and inquiring about theirs. He listened, and started to laugh. He showed appreciation, not just of what his fellow Reds did, but of who they were.
The result was not just a stronger bond with his teammates, but a greater sense of well-being in the world. As Dodd notes, Votto became a happier person and began enjoying his work more than he’d ever thought possible. Being part of a team did not undermine his ability to perform at the highest level; it made doing so more rewarding. Both for him, and for everyone around him.
Happiness and enjoyment, like stress, are contagious. When we reach out to others, we stimulate the same kind of mirror neurons that create empathy by enabling us to get on the same wavelength as other people. This releases endorphins and enables us to build positive bonds with people different from ourselves.
Such reciprocal engagement helps diffuse the tension that’s typical of teams under pressure, creating positive energy and strengthening relationships. And this is true whether you’re part of a marketing team trying to position a new product on a tight deadline, or an IT unit implementing a new service while under the gun.
The lesson from all this? Inclusive behaviors make everyone’s road less bumpy, and a lot more fun.
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