Rising Together

It's all in the details

Publication day for an author is always a day to remember. As with a wedding, there’s a tsunami of advance work and planning, often accompanied by stress as we try to cover every contingency. But when the big day finally arrives, our job is basically to show up for what’s already been set in motion. 

Today, February 28, is the big day for Rising Together: How We Can Bridge Divides and Create a More Inclusive Workplace. I’ve been previewing the book in this newsletter for the last few months, and hope that those of you who’ve enjoyed it will order a copy. And let me know what you think.

Publication day for my last book, How Women Rise, co-authored with Marshall Goldsmith, actually planted the seed for Rising Together, though I couldn’t have known it at the time. It all began in the Warwick Hotel, where I usually stay when I’m in New York City. I was there for a full week, doing media interviews and a few guest gigs on TV to promote the book. But I spent much of the time in my hotel room doing radio shows all over the US and Canada by phone.

Yes, by phone.

Hard to imagine in our Zoom era, but for decades, phone interviews with radio hosts, especially those with drive-time slots, were a– if not the– principle means of book promotion. They offered an early version of the pandemic experience: OMG, I can promote my book in my pajamas!

So on April 10, 2018, pub day for How Women Rise, I did eleven back-to-back radio spots from my junior suite– because what better time could there be to splurge on a room upgrade?  Being totally immersed for hour upon hour got me up to speed fast on what resonated about the book and what I needed to get better at articulating. But I also learned something important about men.

How Women Rise focused on the 12 habits and behaviors most likely to get in the way of women as they seek to move forward in their careers. I’d been working primarily with female leaders for 30 years at that point, so I had a good grasp of the internal barriers that hold women back.  

But what stunned me on that day was the number of male talk show hosts who told me right off the bat that they identified with some of the behaviors. “Let’s talk about overvaluing expertise because that’s me,” one guy began. Another asked, “Can you live-coach me on air through four of these habits? Because I definitely identify.” “I know a lot of men are great at tooting their own horns” said a third, “But reluctance to claim my achievements is a real problem for me. So what you said on the subject was personally helpful.”

In the five years since that eye-opening experience, countless men have echoed these radio hosts. This has been especially true of men who stand outside the traditional leadership mainstream in their organizations. African Americans and Latinos in the US, Koreans working in Japan, Turks in Germany, Moroccans in France, Indian nationals in every corner of the world. The list goes on– and on, and on.

As a consequence, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how I might use what I’ve learned to help us all become more skilled at building honest and effective relationships across a range of divides. Not only divides of gender, but those of race, ethnicity, culture, age, and identity, as well as the ideological and political divides that leaders tell me have become an increasing source of friction in the workplace in recent years.  

In other words, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to identify simple practices that can help us get better at having one another’s backs, in particular with those we may perceive as being different from ourselves. The ultimate point? Enabling us to rise together.

As with all my books, Rising Together focuses on the pragmatic, the practical, the everyday: whatever we can put to immediate use. I don’t drone on about why doing this is important. Instead, I relentlessly emphasize the hows, for us as individuals, as well as for our organizations, our teams, our communities, even our nations. Because it’s the details of how we do things that shape how other people experience us. And it’s in these same details that culture always lives.

You can order Rising Together by clicking the button below. Anyone who orders Rising Together by Saturday, March 4 will receive a free invitation to attend a 90-minute Zoom workshop with me on April 11. Thank you for your support!