Things Unfair at Work?

Don't be triggered. It'll keep you stuck.

Working in and across teams is rewarding and often fun, but it can also be pretty damn challenging. Inevitably, we run into situations that frustrate us. In my experience, the perception of unfairness is the most frustrating of all.

Not only are unfair situations a major source of workplace stress, but people feel well within their rights to complain when the playing field is uneven. A typical way of letting off steam is to tear down those whom we believe have benefited from unfair decisions. Even team leaders, in a bid to keep their people motivated, may join in the commiseration, especially if the unfair situation lies beyond their control or is outside the company. 

But complaining about unfairness can be a dangerous move. It creates ill feeling among perceived adversaries. Ranting and carping may feel justified, even righteous. But venting creates a culture in which blame and complaining come to seem acceptable, even routine.

The fairness trigger also has the power to push us into silos of identity-based complaint, which is understandable but unproductive. I often hear from women who assert that women have made “virtually no progress” in the workplace during the last twenty or thirty years, an assertion that anyone who’s been around for a while can easily dispute. I’ve also heard from men who claim they have scant chance of promotion in a world in which “women and minorities get all the breaks.”

Inequities, of course, do exist. And they can cause a lot of pain. But grievance-based behaviors end up limiting our ability to rise above adversity, as well as our ability to rise within our organizations. While complaining and commiserating might confirm our sense of belonging, they do not spur us or anyone else to constructive action.

On the contrary.

When commiseration rules, our networks of connection begin to operate like grapevines, allowing gossip and rumor to proliferate, rather than operating as healthy networks, which give us a way to build bridges and show solidarity with those who have different experiences and backgrounds. This is an important and powerful distinction, an awareness of which can help us rise while lifting our coworkers right along with us. I’ll be talking more about it in the weeks to come.